We've all heard the saying, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a life time".
Well, some people have been handed too many fish for far too long.
They're like the sad seals we see at the zoo who have been hand-fed for so long that they are incapable of surviving in the 'real world' (their natural habitat).
Put 'em in the ocean and they die... because their 'support system' took away their 'life-skills'.
I'm all for healthy support systems and helping people but I believe the best gift to give someone is that of personal empowerment; new skills, new attitude, new possibilities.
And (loving) honesty.
Periodically, brutal honesty.
But... I will only share (what I believe to be) the truth with people who:
(1) Want to hear it and
(2) I believe can cope with that truth.
I Hope that, for some of you, I am part of
your support system.
That would be my honour and pleasure.
I want to encourage, provoke, challenge and teach you...
but ultimately, I want
you to do it.
You to make the decisions.
You to get uncomfortable.
You to confront your fears.
And you to grow and develop by scraping your knees on a regular basis
If you've got no recent scabs or scars you're probably not fulfilling your potential.
Part two; the Craig stuff.To make it easy (on me!), I think I'll refer to the specific questions from the emails.
(1) How do you believe support systems have helped you?
I am very fortunate in that I work with two of my best friends; Johnnie and Mikey boy (love you lads). Not only do they tell me I'm an idiot when I need to hear it, but they also give me the practical, emotional, social support and perspective I need... to do what I do.
And I do my best to support them also.
While working with your friends can prove to be catastrophic for some, for me it's one of the high-lights of my life; I love it.
If I'm gonna spend so much time working, it may as well be with people I care about.
Over my journey the thing I've relied on most from my friends, mentors and family has been their honesty and feedback. I hate it when people tell me what they
think I want to hear... when in reality, all I
need to hear, is the truth.
Whether it's comfortable or not.
Like most, I also love encouragement and support but only if it's absolutely genuine.. and not someone merely trying to pump up my tyres.
I guess being an only child and living on my own since I was eighteen has meant that I am relatively independent and self-sufficient (to a point).
This can be good and bad.
Good because it means that I have reasonably good coping skills and can deal with most things... and bad because it means that, at times, I have a tendency to (unintentionally) keep people at a distance (emotionally).
While I do love and trust many people, it is not always easy, natural or even wise to trust people when so many have demonstrated an ability to be dishonest and deceitful.
I think it is wise that we let people earn the right to be loved and trusted by us.
Over the years I have had many people lie, cheat and regularly steal from me (if you've ever owned a business which deals in cash, you'll understand).
And while there is no residual bitterness, anger or any other negative emotion loitering deep within my subconscious, there is a certain level of skepticism, caution and discernment with which I approach people.. in both my personal, and professional lives.
By the way, that's called being smart, not cynical.
Having said all of that, I have always been a person who looks for the good and who has more belief in most people than they do in themselves.
(2) How do you make time for those who mean a lot to you?
I am a good listener and I am reasonably perceptive when it comes to what people need, how they are wired and what will make them feel loved, needed, secure and appreciated.
But if I'm being completely honest, I don't spend enough time with some people who are important to me... and yes I'm working on it.
Don't tell anyone, but I'm flawed.
Yep, I stuff up on a regular basis.
I hurt, neglect and offend.
I never intend to.. but I do it.
I think it's called being human.
If only I was a cyborg.
The practical realities of my life mean that, at times, it's tricky for me to spend enough quality time with some of the people I care about... so for me, it's a matter of balancing the practical with the personal, emotional and social.
I'm getting better at it.
Just don't talk to my friends.
And don't let them read this.
Well Louise and Nadine, thanks for challenging me and making me think.
Dunno if I was any help at all but hey, at least we opened the door on an interesting subject.
Hmm... I just thought; waddif 'Louise and Nadine' are actually friends of mine who wrote those emails in order to make me think?
Hey that would be sneaky.
No wonder I don't trust them.
(kidding).
So clearly, I
don't have the final word on support systems.. so
please share your thoughts and teach me something.
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