Motivational Speaker

Welcome to Craig's site.

Craig Harper is Australia's leading motivational speaker and educator (according to Google Australia). He is a highly sought-after corporate coach and is considered to be a leader and pioneer in the areas of personal and professional development.

Working with hundreds of teams, companies and a wide variety of organisations on numerous continents over the last twenty years has given Craig a unique insight into, and understanding of, human performance and all its variables. Craig has an ability to educate, inspire, challenge and make people laugh all at the same time!

Renovate Your Life Blog

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Who Am I? (Part 2)

Before We Get Started

For some of you, today's post may be a little philosophical, left of centre and possibly even confusing. For others it will feel like you've put on a comfortable old jumper. Which ever group you fall into, do your best to have an open mind and to seek learning. For those of you who find it "all a bit weird", rest easy in the knowledge that I'll be back soon with a good old-fashioned motivational head kicking. Also, a big thanks to you guys for all your input on yesterday's post; some great suggestions for changing the way we get to know people. I might take some of your ideas for a spin this weekend at RYL. And to Lisa (from Sweden) and Kimmy (from NSW) if you both send me your details I'll see that Boy Wonder sends you each a copy of my Renovate Your Body DVD for your great contributions. Thanks.

Okay, I know What I'm Not

So if I'm not my job, my accomplishments, my IQ, my reputation, my education, my big biceps or my bank balance, then who the heck am I? Perhaps I'm just me. Me beyond all that stuff. The me that isn't any of those "things". Perhaps I am the consciousness that knows and understands what I am not. Perhaps I am the awareness that tells me that what I own, do, think or even look like will never change who I am, because who I am never changes.

And You?

And perhaps you are just you. And that's it. Why must we assign you a label or identity other than "you"? Could it actually be so simple? Surely I can't just be me because "me" all by myself isn't enough. Is it? Er, am I? Don't I need to be "me the (insert impressive label)". And if I'm not enough, then the obvious question is... not enough what? Lovable enough? Desirable enough? Smart enough? Rich enough?

Yes I am enough. And so are you.

Letting Go

This awareness and realisation (that you are enough) comes not from a place of ego, but rather one of enlightenment. And consciousness. Of simply being. Of letting go of what we're not. Of not striving. Of not seeking approval. Of not seeking to identify self with things. Of not trying to "be" anything because you can never be anyone but you; your true self. Sure you can do different things, put on different clothes and lose a few pounds but all those changes are physical and temporal, while you are spiritual and eternal. You are much more than a body and a new outfit.

So much more.

A Quick Aside...

By the way, you can't "think" your way to enlightenment and consciousness; if anything, thinking will only get in your way. Thinking serves a purpose to a point and then it becomes a barrier to change and personal transformation. The key is to be able to recognise that point. A shift in consciousness or a step in the direction of enlightenment actually speaks of stepping away from thought and "logic". Logic (often) being a synonym for fear.

Label Obsession

It's true that you and I live in a culture obsessed with labels; and not just product labels, but people labels too; a culture that has confused identity with reality for far too long. The habit we have of labelling creates more problems than it does benefits. The moment we say something like, "I'm the creative one and my sister is the academic one", is the moment we build a barrier to a world of possibilities. It's also the moment we tell ourselves what we are not. Or what we can't be.

The Insecurity Epidemic

It's fair to say that you and I currently live in an epidemic of insecurity. It's also fair to say that many people are in the middle of a (perceived) identity crisis. If people would stop confusing "identity" with self, they would soon experience a lot less anxiety; they are very different things. An identity is not you and never will be; it is a psychological construct and the creation of something we think we want to be. It is a role we play. Take a look around at how desperate people are to find love, acceptance, approval, respect and connection through their identity. "If I inject the muscles of my face with this poison (botox) and fill my lips with this crap (collagen) then I'll be more attractive, desirable and popular (and therefore, happy). Somewhere along the line we have "learned" that, of ourselves, we are not good enough. We have learned that we need to be "more than us".

These are lessons we need to unlearn.

As long as you and I seek to gain security, self-esteem and our sense of self from our job, reputation, appearance, money, etc. (all the external stuff), we will always be insecure and vulnerable because all of those things are temporary and can be taken from us at any time.

So perhaps it's time for you to stop trying to "find" yourself (in other things) and simply start "being" yourself. You might like you.

As always, love to hear your thoughts on this subject, even you long-time Lurkers. Click on the comment link and go crazy.

Ciao x

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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

New "Getting to Know You" Questions

Hello Groovers

Hope you're all well and annoying the crap out of the naysayers, whingers, whiners, sooks and energy vampires in your world with your incredible attitude, your can-do mindset, your infectious energy and your commitment to excellence... and fun. Of course, excellence without fun isn't excellence at all; it's obsession.

Pretty as a Pitcher Partner

So it's been a pretty big day for me travelling down (and back) to the beautiful coastal resort of Lorne (here in Victoria) to present to the fantastic team from Pitcher Partners. I spent the whole morning with them and we had a great time exploring success principles and being the change in our world. Nice people and a great company. Thankyou Pitcher Partner People. The net result of today's busy-ness is no follow-up post from yesterday's "Who am I" instalment. It will be along soon. Ish. "Just now" as my South African friend says. Which means some time between now and Christmas.

Thank goodness for Sandra

Fortunately, one of our readers (the very lovely Sandra from Virginia in the U.S.) has made a great suggestion for a potential group discussion in the interim and being as her idea makes complete sense, I thought why should I exhaust myself coming up with a meaningful and relevant chat concept when Sandra has done if for me already. I knew there would be an upside to having readers who are smarter than me. Now I know.

A Dumb Theory

Yesterday we spoke of the obsession our society has for assessing people based on things like (1) what we own (2) what we look like (3) what we do (our career) and (4) where we live. Evidence of this mindset can be seen in any social setting where people are connecting for the first time. "So what do you do... where do you live....?" The inference being that by knowing where someone lives and what they "do" then we are discovering who they are. Which is about the dumbest theory ever.

New Questions

But as Sandra suggests, perhaps we could move away from those traditional questions and commit to asking better ones in such situations; ones that don't pigeon-hole people based on which particular boxes they tick. Perhaps as a group we can come up with some questions which could revolutionize the "getting to know you" process. Surely we can do better than "so what do you do?"

Can't we?

This is no easy task so I am keen to hear your thoughts and read your new and improved "getting to know you" questions. I will send a Renovate Your Body DVD to the people who blow my socks (and Ugg Boots) off. It is winter in Melbourne remember.

Start getting creative. Click on the comment link to share your genius.

* I'll be back with part two of "Who Am I" soon.

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Monday, May 25, 2009

Who Am I? (Part 1)

Before the First Bit

Before we get into today's light topic, I want to thank all of you who contributed to Friday's group discussion about the key lessons and truths that we might teach our kids as they grow up. Your thoughts were truly enlightening for me and I'm sure plenty of you learned a little something as well. And to Hellen, Peta and Damian, if you can email Johnny your postal address, I will see that he sends you each a gift for your thoughtful contributions. Today's chat is quite deep, provocative and philosophical, so if you're after a "quick motivational fix", today ain't that day. However, it is a subject that will resonate with many of you and is relevant for all of us - when we're ready. On with the show. Er, lesson.

Me and My Body

Growing up as a fat kid, I identified very strongly with my body. In fact, I'm sure there were times when I thought that I was my body. "Me" and "it" were one and the same; especially when my physical dimensions became my name. Being called "Jumbo" for the majority of my school life gave me a pretty clear picture of who I was; a fat kid. In other people's eyes anyway. I remember being thirteen years old and turning up to play football for the first game of the season. I walked up to the blackboard (yep, it was that long ago) - where the coach would write the team for the day - to see if and where I would be playing. And there Jumbo was; playing on the half back line. Seeing my name up there on the board kind of confirmed who I was - made it official somehow. Amazingly, there was no malice or offense intended by the coach; he was merely calling me what everyone else did.

Fortunately for me, by my late teens I began to realise that I was more than a body, more than a label and more than someone else's opinion of me. Although it's fair to say that my unhealthy relationship with exercise and food continued into my early twenties.

"I'm not a body, it's just where I live"

Tall, Dark, Handsome and Pigeon-Holed

How often have you asked yourself the "who am I" question? Often? Occasionally? Never? What answer did you come up with? Are you still trying to figure it out? Does it matter to you? Are you your body? Your face? Your age? Your career? Your bank balance? Your reputation? Your marital status? You address? Your religious beliefs? Your academic achievements? Your IQ? Your thoughts? Your possessions? Your title? "Er... hello, Dr. Harper, what a handsome, young, clever, creative, wealthy, medium-height, delusional, white male with a shaved head and too many issues to mention you are..."

Thanks for that.

Perhaps we are the sum of those things. Or perhaps we're none of them. Perhaps those things only have the meaning, power and significance that we give them. Perhaps they are distractions that mislead, distract and seduce us further and further away from finding our true selves. Or maybe not.

Group Thinking

You and I live in a culture which likes to define us (tells us who we are) by what we look like, what we own and what we do. Think about it; when you're in a social setting and you meet a person for the first time, what's (often) the first question you're asked? "So Sam, what do you do; where do you work"? Why are you asked this? Because your job tells them who you are. It also tells them how much money you earn, which tells them even more about who they are talking to. Or so they believe. And perhaps it's this group thinking and this propensity that we (the collective we) have for identifying with "things" (things that keep the ego fed by the way) which keeps us at a distance from (1) moving towards enlightenment (2) a shift in consciousness and (3) connecting with our authentic selves. That is, discovering who we are beyond the noise of humanity, the expectations of those around us, the chaos of our mind, the programming of our past and the incessant chatter of our very demanding ego.

Same Story, Different Labels

These days in my world "Jumbo" has been replaced by terms like... "that single forty-something bloke". Clearly not a desirable label (for most people anyway). Strangely, I don't mind it. Apparently being single and in your forties infers a level of dysfunction and inadequacy. Weirdness even. Again, I'm okay with that too. Is it bad that I'll happily admit to a little dysfunction, inadequacy and weirdness? Oh well. And then there's me the Blogger. Me the Fitness Expert. Me the Writer. Me the Speaker. Me the business owner. Me the student of philosophy. Me the spiritual seeker. Me the teacher. Me the motorcyclist. Me the ex-bodybuilder... and the list goes on. But do these labels speak of who I am or simply, what I do? Perhaps they are not me but indicators of what drives me. Which begs the question, is what drives me.... me? The answer is no, but we're getting closer.

A Terrestrial Pit Stop

Perhaps you and I are eternal beings having a temporary pit stop down here on the big blue ball; spiritual beings enjoying a momentary physical experience. That's what most of the major religions teach anyway. Perhaps in the context of eternity - which is timeless - the thing we refer to as our "life" is a mere heartbeat of our on-going journey. Or perhaps our eighty years (or so) on planet Earth is it; the whole deal. When asked, most people will say that they believe we don't just die and turn into worm food. "There's gotta be more than this" is the common refrain. Maybe we say that because on some level we just know that there's more. It doesn't make sense logically or scientifically but somehow we just know. Or we believe we do anyway. Or perhaps we say it because the idea of this (physical) life being "all there is", is just too uncomfortable and terrifying for us to consider.

Life After Life?

When it comes to the age-old debate of what happens after our physical death down here on Terra Firma, we can speculate, theorise, hypothesize, philosophise, rationalise and argue till the cows come home (when is that by the way?) but we can't actually know. If we had absolute, indisputable, irrefutable knowledge then we wouldn't need faith because as we all know (or we're about to know), faith is believing in something that we can't prove. Yes, we can know what we think, we can know what we believe, and we can know what we expect but we can't know with absolute certainty what happens once we die because unless there's some important fact that I'm over-looking, at this point in time neither you or I have experienced physical death. Okay, I have digressed from today's topic a little with this paragraph... but hey, what's new?

I'll finish part one of this little exploration with some wisdom from one of my faves...

"The ultimate truth of who you are is not I am this or I am that, but I Am" Eckhart Tolle

Now that we've (kind of) established who we aren't, next time we'll see if we can discover who we are. If your head hasn't exploded, I would love to hear your thoughts on this post. Just click on the comment link and spill yer guts. Enjoy your Monday.

Ciao x

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Friday, May 22, 2009

Random Friday Stuff

Sliding into the Weekend

Hello Rock Stars. I hope you're enjoying your Friday and sliding into the weekend with a smile on your dial. I was chatting with someone yesterday who had an amazing ability to complicate the simple and make the easy, hard. What an exhausting (and unnecessary) existence that is. And what an exhausting (and unnecessary) ten-minute encounter that was for me. Make sure you're not that person won't you? No post (as such) today, just a little housekeeping, a few things to fill you in on and a thought-provoking question.

Renovate Your Life

Next weekend (May 29 - 31) is our two-day, live-in RYL program here in Victoria. We still have a few places available, so if you're in need of a little motivation, inspiration, education and transformation, get on board! If you've been "about to change your life" for far too long, then this is the program for you. Learn more about RYL here. Hope to see you there. To my U.S. readers who keep asking me when I'm coming to the States to run a program, we're working on it. I would love to come but there are a few challenges in putting together such an event from a squillion miles away. Having zero profile in your country also makes things a little... tricky. We are considering partnering with someone from the U.S. (individual or organisation) to help make the idea a reality, so (1) if you like what I do here on the site (2) if you have a gift for the entrepreneurial and organisational and (3) if you'd like to explore the possibility of a business partnership (of sorts) with the ex-fat kid, drop me a line via email. It's okay if I stay on your couch right?

Blogging Workshop?

Lately it seems that every man and his dog wants to create their own blog. And why not; it's a great medium for connecting with the masses, it's practical, immediate, fun and free(ish). Every week Johnny and I receive a bunch of emails from people who want help, direction and advice about creating a successful blog. So the Bald Man and I thought that we might combine our collective skills and experience to conduct a three-hour (ish) "Introduction to Blogging" (or something along those lines) workshop. While we will conduct the workshop face-to-face here in Melbourne, we thought we might also run it as a webinar (on-line seminar) so that anyone, anywhere in the world can get involved and sit in our cyber-classroom. It's just an idea at the minute but if there's enough interest, we'll run with it. If you're vaguely interested, email us or let us know via the comments link.

New Site

Speaking of website development... I know it's a long time coming but our new website will be up soon. I've seen the working prototype and it looks freakin' amazing. Not being the tech guy on the team (okay, massive understatement), I didn't really comprehend the magnitude of the task. Apparently transferring nearly a thousand articles, a bunch of videos and several million words from this site to the new one is not a five-minute process. Who'da thunk? Stay tuned.

Question of the Day?

Periodically I will ask a question of the day. This will be an opportunity for some of you to share a little of your own life philosophy (experience, thoughts, ideas) with a large audience (panic not) and to inspire, motivate, educate and possibly enlighten the rest of us. Last Friday we opened the door on the "what gems did your parents teach you as you were growing up" conversation and we got a bunch of great feedback. So off the back of that, today's question is...

Q. What are the three most important (valuable, non-negotiable) lessons that you (as a parent) will teach your children?

Even if you're not a parent, I'm sure you have an opinion. While it's certainly not a competition, I will be sending out a book or three for the contributions that push my buttons. The most.

Have a great weekend guys and share your thoughts on all the above by clicking on the comments link below...

Ciao x

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Thursday, May 21, 2009

Taking Back Your Personal Power (Part 2)

Time to Make Waves

In part one of this post we discussed the tendency some of us have to allow situations, circumstances, events and even other people to control our lives; in essence, giving away our power in an attempt to be accepted, valued, appreciated and loved. By trying to "fit in and not make waves" (as someone sh

ared with me recently) it seems that some of us have lost our identity and sense of self. The good news is that we can take back control of our life and still be that kind, generous and thoughtful person - who also happens to be strong, confident, assertive, productive, successful and powerful. And no, we don't need to compromise our beliefs, goals, character or core values to do so. In fact, taking back our power can be the most important step towards living a life of true purpose, alignment (with our core values), integrity and joy.

While the following strategies are very effective, they are not always comfortable or easy to implement, so it's a good thing that you and I are all about doing what works - not what's easy! Not every point will be relevant for every person, so see what resonates for you. Also be warned that I may be a little... er... blunt in places (surprising I know), so if you're feeling a bit presh you may wanna read from behind a cushion (like in a scary movie). Enjoy.

1. Stop looking for easy and start "doing" effective. Today. All too often our desire to live a comfortable, painless, easy and safe existence (all things driven by fear) is the very thing that kills our potential, our productivity, our ability to develop and ultimately, our spirit. It is no coincidence that we (the society) have both (1) a widespread aversion to anything that makes us uncomfortable and (2) a high percentage of people who regularly feel frustrated, unfulfilled, lost and miserable. Ironically, it is our aversion to working against resistance that stops us from growing, learning, evolving and adapting. Sometimes (in the moment) we believe it's simply easier to just "fit in", to compromise and to bite our tongue. While this is understandable on occasion, over the long term this kind of behaviour and thinking will set us up for unhealthy relationships, stagnation, disconnection, frustration, desperation and misery. In order to take back your power you will need to be courageous (that's a choice by the way), you will need to be prepared to get uncomfortable (that's where you learn, grow and adapt) and you will need to do things that may piss other people off - perhaps the ones who previously pulled your strings for their own gain.

2. Face your fears. You can never take back your power until you confront the things that scare you. By the way, being fearful does not represent weakness but rather humanity.

"Show me the person who fears nothing and I'll show you an idiot."

*There's also an argument that the person who fears nothing might also be the person who has reached enlightenment... but that's a discussion for another day.

If things only have the power and influence that we assign them (and they do), then fear is something we can control and use for our own personal development. For the most part fear is a completely personal thing. It's not about the situation, circumstance or environment but rather US in it; how we react to, process, cope with and interpret the events in our world. That's why we can see two people doing the exact same thing at the same time (a bungee jump for example); one is excited and having a great time, while the other is terrified and having the worst time ever. That's because it ain't about the jump; it's about the jumper. Keeping in mind that each jumper creates his or her own reality. Of course there are healthy fears - not wanting to swim with a shark for example - but what we're talking about here are those destructive and unhealthy fears that have been known to make people prisoners of their own mind. For a lifetime.

3. When nice isn't. (Nice)

Seek to be strong not nice. Too many nice people get chewed up and spat out because all they have is a bunch of "nice-ness" and zero personal power. Sometimes nice-ness is actually a euphemism for weakness and far too often our need to be seen as the "nice person" (oh please) is what brings us undone. Endeavouring to keep everyone in your world happy is an exercise in futility, frustration and exhaustion. And stupidity. In short, it can't be done. It's not your job to "make" people happy; it's your job to be you. And not the "you" that people want you to be, but rather, your authentic self. The one who has clarity, certainty, contentment and calm about who and what they are. And no, being you does not mean being selfish.

4. Stop being a victim.

The world isn't fair. The majority don't care about you or your issues. Shit happens. Bad things happen to good people. And lots of people are selfish and nasty. There; we've cleared that up. Now, stop seeking pity, attention and sympathy and get on with it. Stop having the same pointless discussions about the same issues, stop waiting to be "saved" and stop giving away your power. You don't need universal approval, acceptance or endorsement, you need a different attitude.

5. Win respect through your actions. Talk less, do more. What you do will tell the rest of us far more about who you are than any words that might come out of your mouth. Words are cheap and often meaningless. Most big talkers are just that. And nothing more.

6. Keep re-inventing yourself. Being stagnant and inflexible in a dynamic world is a sure-fire way to become redundant, unnecessary and powerless. While your core values, beliefs and standards might remain constant, it is important that you continue to adapt, learn, grow and develop with your ever-changing world.

7. Value yourself. Stop treating others as though they are of greater worth than you. Nobody is more important than anyone else. And nobody is more important than you. Nobody. This is not about having a massive ego or being self-righteous; it's about stopping all the self-sabotage. You know what I mean. It's about not rationalising mediocrity and failure any more. It's about changing your standards and your thinking. It's about not letting your poor self-esteem get in the way of your potential and your possibilities. It's about not letting your past become your future. In case you don't know or you haven't been told, I will tell you now; you are worthy, you are talented, you are good enough and you are powerful. More than you know. If you don't believe those words then you don't value yourself as you should.

*By the way, power and humility can go comfortably hand in hand.

8. Fiercely protect your brand. Don't associate with people, organisations, situations or products that will damage your reputation. In the professional world (where many of us spend a great deal of our lives) your brand is your power. The stronger your brand, the more power you have (in that world). Prospective employers, potential business associates and customers will all "buy what you're selling" based largely (if not solely) on their perception of you; your product, your service, your ability, your skill, your integrity and your value to them.

The Last Bit

I know that in my last post I said I'd be sharing ten strategies but I ended up amalgamating some of the points, so that's why we've ended up with eight. I'm not short-changing you... honest! Hope this instalment has been of some value to you. As always. I would appreciate your feedback on this post. The comments are important to me as it gives me some insight into the kinds of areas that you want me to explore... so don't be a stranger. Even you chronic Lurkers. Leave a comment by clicking on the link.

Ciao x

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Exercise Scientist

Motivation

Renovate Your Life Blog

Who Am I? (Part 2)

New "Getting to Know You" Questions

Who Am I? (Part 1)

Random Friday Stuff

Taking Back Your Personal Power (Part 2)

Recent Comments on Craig's Blog

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Motivational Speaker

Exercise Scientist

Motivation

Renovate Your Life Blog

Who Am I? (Part 2)

New "Getting to Know You" Questions

Who Am I? (Part 1)

Random Friday Stuff

Taking Back Your Personal Power (Part 2)

Recent Comments on Craig's Blog

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