This site is the website of motivational speaker Craig Harper. A constantly updated, one-stop information, inspiration, education and motivation station. Unlike many similar sites, it is a totally free resource for anyone who is serious about moving from mediocre to amazing in any area of their personal or professional life. With hundreds of articles covering a wide range of subject matter, great interviews with cool people and inspirational video posts, there's more than enough brain-food to keep you busy for hours. Okay, days!! Enjoy.
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television. (9AM with Kim & David - Network Ten)
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Fattitude
- Craig Harper
While many books focus on food,
Craig teaches that creating life-long change is more about the
dieter, than the actual diet. This book is perfect for people who have a
history of 'almost' getting in shape.
DVD
or CD - Renovate Your Body In this entertaining presentation, Craig discusses the
notion of Renovating Your Body - once and for all. Many of us have a curious
ability to be able to get in shape for events (weddings, parties, reunions
and birthdays), if only we'd get in shape for life.
Craig Harper is Australia's leading
motivational speaker
and educator (according to Google Australia). He is a highly
sought-after corporate coach and is considered to be
a leader and pioneer in the areas of personal and
professional development.
Working with hundreds of
teams, companies and a wide variety of organisations
on numerous continents over the last twenty years
has given Craig a unique insight into, and
understanding of, human performance and all its
variables. Craig has an ability to educate, inspire,
challenge and make people laugh all at the same
time!
Over the years I've worked with some pretty big egos. At times, perhaps I've been one of them. Not too often I hope. Of course the fitness industry, the corporate world, professional sporting teams and the media are certainly not renowned for their shrinking violets or their collective humility. And yessirree, I have found myself in some interesting "discussions" in some interesting situations with some interesting people over my journey and they have all taught me much - knowingly or not. Good and bad. Working with a vast range of personalities, egos and attitudes over two and a half decades has provided me with daily lessons in communication, tolerance, connection, rapport, respect and conflict resolution; kind of like my very own on-going personal development workshop. And yes, big egos exist everywhere, not just on my work CV or in my world. I'm sure you have had similar experiences and learned similar lessons.
An Insatiable Master
Of course some would suggest that we need a certain level of ego to succeed (and others not), but there certainly comes a point where the ego - and its voracious need for attention, approval and superiority - can become completely destructive, not only for the "owner" of the ego, but also for those who happen to stand in its path or have to deal with it on a regular basis. At its best the ego will keep us motivated, focused and productive and at its worst, it will be an insatiable master with the potential to ruin lives.
While there is much to be discussed and many areas to be explored in relation to this topic, today I want to get specific and talk about one important component of the human experience that the ego often struggles with; the apology.
In the words of that great 1950's philosopher Arthur Fonzarelli:
"I was wr... I was wr... I was wr... I was wr..."
Never thought I'd be quoting the Fonz here at me-dot-com but there you go.
In truth, what often stands in the way of us moving to a deeper level of consciousness, insight and awareness - and also creating a greater level of connection and understanding with the people in our world - is two things:
1. Our inability to apologise humbly and graciously (when it's warranted)
You may have noticed that some people never apologise. Perhaps they were born without the apology gene. Or perhaps their ego won't let them. And while they are not particularly pleasant to be around, the person they will hurt the most is themselves. Their arrogance, their insecurity and their fear (which won't allow them to say sorry), will stop them from evolving beyond a point. Emotionally, intellectually, professionally, sociologically and even spiritually their development will be stunted until they find some humility, honesty and self-awareness. They will stagnate (if not go backwards) until they can learn to empathise with and respect the thoughts, beliefs, values and ideas of others. Note that "respecting" doesn't necessarily mean agreeing with or embracing. In some instances saying sorry can be relationship-saving, life-changing and completely cathartic. It has the ability to create an instant shift in dynamics, atmosphere, culture, productivity and even emotional state. A humble and heart-felt apology can open the door to healing, harmony and happiness. Pity we don't do it more often.
But this kind of thinking ain't new; they were talking about this stuff two thousand (plus) years ago...
"Pride goeth before destruction" (Proverbs 16:18) The word pride here could be interchangeable with the word ego.
What a great word "goeth" is. I gotta use it more.
And what about this one...
"Whoever exalts himself will be humbled" (Luke 14:11)
There's a little Old and New Testament gear for you to chew on.
Okay, I'll take my dog collar off now.
An Apology Tip: When you say sorry to someone, do it unreservedly and unconditionally. Don't give an apology that's preceded or followed by an explanation, justification or rationalisation of your less than desirable behaviour or comments. That's more of an anti-apology.
I usually go with something deep and meaningful like:
"I was a complete dickhead and I'm really sorry." The End.
Feel free to use it. It's not copy-written.
2. The need we have to be right
Ever noticed how some people have a need to be right? About everything? All the time? Of course some subjects evoke a certain level of enthusiastic...er... debate - politics, religion, sport, the best diet, the best exercise philosophy, the best health strategy, the best way to get rich... and so on. However, as long as we go into any process, conversation, negotiation or social situation with a "need to be right" then (1) we can't create an optimal outcome (2) we can't create rapport (3) we can't even consider another perspective or opinion and (4) we close ourselves down to a myriad of positive outcomes; productive communication, learning, personal growth and connection to name a few.
By the way...
Contrary to what many people think, apologising is actually a sign of strength not weakness, while an inability to apologise is often a sign of weakness and insecurity. Genuine humility is a demonstration of honest self-awareness and emotional and spiritual maturity, while the need to be right speaks of fear and immaturity.
Hope that helps.
See you tomorrow. I must goeth.
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