This site is the website of motivational speaker Craig Harper. A constantly updated, one-stop information, inspiration, education and motivation station. Unlike many similar sites, it is a totally free resource for anyone who is serious about moving from mediocre to amazing in any area of their personal or professional life. With hundreds of articles covering a wide range of subject matter, great interviews with cool people and inspirational video posts, there's more than enough brain-food to keep you busy for hours. Okay, days!! Enjoy.
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Craig Harper is Australia's leading
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Hi Groovers. Today's post could be more of a 'me-thinking-out-loud' process, than a specific life lesson for ya'll. Although, there are several lessons to be found if you look for them. In fact, for some of you, this article may prove to be very relevant and timely. If not, uncomfortable and confronting. In keeping with my commitment to limit my posts to a thousand(ish) words or less, I have decided to break this chat into two parts.
Exactly How Far Should I Open That Door?
As you might expect, having a website like this has provided me with a number of challenges, speed humps and lessons since Johnny and I breathed life into it two and a half years ago. Other than the obvious issue of finding the time, energy and creativity to produce four or five interesting and relevant articles every week of the year, answering a squillion emails and comments, ensuring the site looks okay and functions as it should - and making sure that I don't die of exhaustion in the process while travelling the country to work with various organisations, doing my media stuff and running a gym - there has been one ever-present issue which has challenged me more than all the other stuff: how much of me do I let my readers have and exactly how open, honest and transparent should I be? Not that I would lie or mislead, but perhaps there are things I simply shouldn't say or share? Is there a point where my honesty and my not-always-popular perspective could sabotage my potential to grow this site and to successfully develop a range of related programs, workshops and services? Yep, no doubt.
The Road Less Travelled
Of course there's the ever-present temptation to write what people want to hear, to win the popular vote, to wheel out the all-too-common personal development jargon and feel-good hyperbole, and to have a daily cyber-love-in with my readers via my comforting, warm and fuzzy words. But that would simply make me a fraud and I couldn't act that well for an extended period of time. Certainly not for two and a half years anyway. Nor would I want to. I also know that when it comes to having a real impact and helping people create life-long change - that is, a different reality forever (why we all come here) - what most of us want to hear, is often not what we need to hear. I figured that I could have gone for the comfortable, easy and popular (but ultimately frustrating) route, or I could opt for the less comfortable, less popular, brutally honest and much more effective path. "I can tell you what you want to hear, or I can tell you the truth."
Keeping it Real
So I made a decision early on here at me-dot-com that I would write exactly what I think and believe, irrespective of the potential fall out, popular opinion or conventional wisdom. Whatever that means. Not only is it more valuable, practical and realistic for you, but in my on-going commitment to create a better version of me, it keeps my head where it should be, stops me from compromising my values, standards and beliefs, helps me stay accountable, responsible and grounded and ensures that I will continue to evolve, grow, learn and unlearn as I need to. And yes, I have much to unlearn. Will I offend people, make mistakes and shoot myself in the foot? Already have. Many times. Have I learned from it? Yep. Will I continue to make mistakes? Yep, but not the same ones. Mostly. In fact, what many people don't realise about the whole personal development ride is that it is our preparedness to make mistakes, admit to them and then learn from them which is crucial to our development, the shaping of our character and the re-enforcement of our humility. Keeping in mind that arrogance, fear and self-righteousness prevent us from growing, learning and changing as we should.
Exactly Like Me but Different
We all have two versions of us don't we? There's the 'us' we let everyone see (public us) and there's the private us (or as some would say, the authentic us). And to a point, this separation is healthy and understandable. When it becomes unhealthy is when the public version of us is a complete fraud; when we're constantly pretending to be something we're not. Simply playing a role to conform, to fit in, to avoid conflict and to be liked. If only we liked ourselves enough to be us. And by playing a role we simply create a network of unhealthy and fraudulent relationships based on a series of lies. Without necessarily knowing it, our friends, family and colleagues are in a relationship with the 'character' we've developed, not us. Of course we can't have real relationships with people when we're not being our real selves.
How to Avoid Criticism
As someone who has a public profile (of sorts) and is relatively well known in the fish bowl that is Melbourne, I have discovered the hard way that I will never receive (nor would I expect) universal approval, support, acceptance, understanding or popularity no matter what I do or say or how hard I try to avoid stepping on toes or getting noses out of joint. While I have many good friends, colleagues and supporters, I also have my fair share of detractors. One of my teachers at college (Dr. Paul Callery) once told me, "if you never want to be criticised then say nothing, do nothing and be nothing." Great advice by the good Doc and being as I have no desire to be either still or quiet, I have had to learn to deal with the inevitable and frequent criticism that comes my way.
See you on the morrow for part two.
As always, let me know your thoughts, say hi, send a little cyber-love or share a (brief) story.If you're not sure how to leave a comment, clickhere.
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