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About This Site.

This site is the website of motivational speaker Craig Harper. A constantly updated, one-stop information, inspiration, education and motivation station. Unlike many similar sites, it is a totally free resource for anyone who is serious about moving from mediocre to amazing in any area of their personal or professional life. With hundreds of articles covering a wide range of subject matter, great interviews with cool people and inspirational video posts, there's more than enough brain-food to keep you busy for hours. Okay, days!! Enjoy.


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Welcome to Craig's site.

Craig Harper is Australia's leading motivational speaker and educator (according to Google Australia). He is a highly sought-after corporate coach and is considered to be a leader and pioneer in the areas of personal and professional development.

Working with hundreds of teams, companies and a wide variety of organisations on numerous continents over the last twenty years has given Craig a unique insight into, and understanding of, human performance and all its variables. Craig has an ability to educate, inspire, challenge and make people laugh all at the same time!

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Renovate Your Life Blog


Wednesday, November 19, 2008
The 'F' Word
About a hundred years ago when I was a young, fresh trainer (hard to believe I know) I had a meeting with a lady and her morbidly obese thirteen year-old son to talk about some training for him. The kid was about 160cm (five foot four) and 100kg (220lbs). In the first two minutes of our meeting the mother informed me that Junior was not in fact fat, but a big boned boy carrying 'a little' weight. At that point I asked Junior to let Mum (Mom) and I have a private chat. He left the room and the ensuing conversation went something like this:

CH: "Mrs _______ unless that big, soft lump spilling over the top of your son's pants is a bone, I'm pretty certain he's fat; really fat."

Mum:
(sporting a look of disbelief) "Sure he has a little puppy fat, but that's mostly his large frame."

CH: "No, it's not his frame; he's morbidly obese."

Mum:
"I find that offensive."

CH:
"I find it honest."

Mum: "What are you saying?"

CH: "I'm saying your son is not carrying a little puppy fat, I'm saying he's dangerously obese and you don't want to acknowledge that. I'm not trying to offend you, I'm giving you honest, accurate feedback and advice."

Mum: "I don't think you're taking into account his stocky body type."

We went back and forth for a few minutes but she wasn't remotely interested in the reality of the situation. She had created a story in her head which allowed her to feel more comfortable about the fact that she had a teenage son who weighed more than most adults; a child that she had enabled to be morbidly obese. She didn't like my version of the story. And I don't think she liked me. I get that a bit. She left and continued her search for "someone who would understand her son's situation." Clearly I didn't understand her big boned boy.

It is What it is.

I have been working with obese people for twenty seven years. On all levels; emotionally, psychologically, physically and practically. There's nothing I haven't seen or heard when it comes to the issue of fat people. I've even been a fat people (er, person). So I get it, not only theoretically, but experientially too. I understand how tough it is (on all levels) to lose weight and maintain results over an extended period of time. I know it hurts to be fat. Been there. I also know that many insensitive and uncaring people misuse and abuse the word fat in an attempt to hurt others and create some kind of negative outcome. We all know that idiots who taunt or insult obese people for entertainment need a smack in the head but... at the other end of the scale we have another group who are so politically correct, misguided and occasionally deluded that they consider the use of words like fat and obese to be unwarranted and potentially dangerous under any circumstances.

What Fat Isn't.

By the way, for the purpose of this article, the term fat is not an insult; it's a physiological state. But even having made that clear, I know that some people will get offended because that's what they do; they find a reason to complain rather than a reason to change. They want attention and sympathy, not a solution. After all, the solution to obesity involves discipline, self-control and hard work; not high on some people's list. If there's a way to get hurt, defensive or angry some people will find it no matter what. And then milk the crap out of it.

You can get mad at me or you can change your body. Your choice.

In a futile attempt to keep everyone's feelings intact, we have integrated terms like big boned, full figured, stocky, thick set, voluptuous, puppy fat and solid into our vocabulary. "Hmm, he's a solid lad isn't he."

Nope, he's fat.

But What About Their Arteries?

I'm confused as to why we (the society) seem to be so concerned with, and vocal about, people's emotional welfare (surrounding their obesity) but not nearly as concerned with, or vocal about, their fat bodies and the potential physical consequences of that obesity. It's like, "whatever you do, don't hurt their feelings... sure they might be heading towards heart disease, diabetes, respiratory issues, back problems and a range of related conditions but if you must talk to them about 'you-know-what' (shhh), please don't mention the 'F' word. Call it something else."

When I was a fat teenager, I was f-a-t. Not solid. Not big boned. Not stocky. No, I was morbidly obese. Large. Huge. Whopping. I ate too much and moved too little and the result was one very fat kid. Sure, I could try to make this story sound slightly less confronting and possibly more reader friendly, but do I really need to? Why must we avoid stating the obvious? The truth. The practical reality of our fat culture and population.

A Little Short Term Pain for Some Long Term Gain

I'm not for one moment suggesting that any of us should be insensitive or uncaring when dealing with people who are battling obesity, neither am I saying that creating real change is not a tough, emotional and at times, painful process. I know it is and I am mindful of this when I talk to people. I care about people's feelings very much but I care about their physical health more. I would rather hurt someone's feelings for five minutes if there's a chance it might lead to a longer, healthier, happier life. Of course my preferred option would be to not offend them at all and get them in shape physically. For years I struggled with my body but it wasn't until I stopped the pity party, ditched the destructive behaviours, changed my mindset, de-emotionalised the process (as best I could) and got very practical and honest about my fat self that things started to turn around.

We can continue to make obesity an emotional soap opera or we can roll up our sleeves, step into reality, make some tough decisions, be honest and practical... and then do what needs to be done to create a healthier population.

Or we can continue being big-boned and full-figured.

Ciao x

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