Anyway, the lovely Michelle sent me the movie version starring Hank Azaria and Jack Lemmon, so today I put my tired self on the couch and pressed 'play'. I then spent an hour and a half bawling like a grumpy two year-old, while contemplating the various messages Morrie (an incredibly wise man in the last months of his life) had to teach me. And yep, it's a true story. I'm so glad I was alone because the whole tears thing may have brought my incredible alpha-male-ness (a term) into question. And I wouldn't want that of course.

Stop Wasting Time

While the story pushed many buttons and offered many important lessons on many levels, the key message for me was - don't waste time on bullshit. And don't we have an incredible talent for doing just that (periodically at least)? I've done it, so have you. It seems that people are never more open, honest, genuine or practical than when they're dying. They don't have time for their ego, their issues or their self-esteem to get in the way of what they need to do and say. All the bullshit disappears. They just do what they have to. With ease. All the stuff they couldn't say, they communicate with ease. It's amazing what can be said when the fear of rejection and embarrassment aren't an issue. They don't have the time to waste so they become dynamic, effective and powerful. Ironic really. All that (ultimately) pointless humanistic crap (what we look like, what we wear, what people think) which only distracts us from the important stuff (friends, family, love, communication, connection, forgiveness), instantly becomes irrelevant and meaningless when someone is told they are going to die.

What Matters

When we think about it, we all have a finite amount of time to spend here on the big blue ball and some of us have (had) a gift for wasting that precious time for too long. In truth, we might be here for another day or another fifty years. Of course we don't know. It's a pity that so many of us need to be confronted with some kind of tragedy before we get a healthy level of perspective and some kind of grip on reality; what's really important and significant in the context of a life. Our life. Be brutally honest with yourself and think about how much time, effort and energy you've wasted over the course of your lifetime not saying and doing some of the things you should. Too much? Me too.

Am I not Pretty Enough?

Some of us have spent years (and years) trying to be rich enough, beautiful enough, lean enough, smart enough and desirable enough because that's what our dysfunctional culture has taught us we need to be. But it's a complete fraud. Mostly we come out the other side of that pursuit feeling decidedly lonely, empty, frustrated and unfulfilled because we've totally neglected the important stuff - the stuff life is really about; the sharing, the connecting, the communicating, the giving, the sacrifice, the learning, the kindness, generosity; the unconditional and uninhibited process of loving others. In our urgency to get, we forget to give. Some of us have spent a lifetime trying to meet internal (emotional, spiritual, psychological) needs with external (physical, material) solutions. It doesn't work. So stop trying. Of course there's nothing wrong with being beautiful, buffed and rich... except when we start to believe that what we look like and what we own, is who we are.

See you on the morrow... x

Labels: motivation, personal development, self help